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Silence a story by the me (Peanut Q. Public)
i loved his look. he was seth roberts. the 27 year old lead guitarist for our band, "silence". he had silky black hair that was always a mess but somehow tangle-free when i ran my fingers through it. he was in amazing shape. even though he always wore long-sleeved shirts and long pants you could still tell. his shirts were torn and strange and i think he owned at least 20 pairs of vinyl pants, in various colours and with various patterns on them. he stood out in a crowd yet remained a complete mystery to everyone... well, everyone that wasn't in our band anyway.
the rest of the band was Eryk on back-up vocals and occasional keyboard, Jason on rythym guitar, Karma on drums and the one known only as Zero on bass.
Eryk and Jason had been best friends since the womb. they had a closeness that was often mistaken for homosexuality but tempers that caused anyone making that assumption to end up in the hospital. strange thing reely. while they may not have been together, they still had some rather "queer" sexual habits. we all lived together so we were often rather surprised to see them going into their bedroom together with up to a dozen women and keeping us all awake with their fucking. the thing is, they didn't always stop when their guests left and fell asleep. i think they used their heroin and coke addictions to deny being gay but we didn't care either way.
Karma was my best friend. we told each other everything and occasionally fucked. it was an amazing relationship. she was fucking hot too. she fit perfectly into that skinny-goth chick category. all her clothes were either transparent or vinyl and fit in the colour categorys red, black and purple. there wasn't much to her other than looks, i hate to say. when she wasn't talking about suicide she was taking ex. her suicide rants were the times when we stayed friends and she let me unload my problems on her. when she was on ex we usually just found a floor, a bed, a countertop, a garbage can... well, i think you get it.
Zero was somewhat of a mystery though. none of us knew his real name, his age or anything about him until he had joined our band back in '96. i think i knew more about him than anyone of us... but only because people tend to be more honest when they're trying to get in your pants. Zero was a big guy. i don't think there was an ounce of fat on him that wasn't a complete necessity. he would walk around at shows we played bumping into body building drunken assholes just to see who was brave enough to start anything with him. he got his offers taken up on more than one occasion and once almost killed a guy who turned out to be a cop. no charges were pressed though. Zero was a feared man.
and i guess that leaves only me... well, i won't tell you anything true but i'll tell you the rumours. i've heard that i'm thought to be an ex porn star, that i work at a police station to fund a drug ring and that my parents had the wealth of bill gates and that i killed them for it. my personal favourite, though, was that i'm reely just a country girl obsessed with Garth Brooks and Chevy pick-up trucks but i stole all my clothes from Hot Topic and joined Silence so i could meet Jhonen Vasquez and rob his house. the only thing about me people actually knew was my name. even though not many people outside the band knew it. my name is Angel, by the way.
in my social circle, drugs aren't exactly foreign. in fact the most drug free out of all of them is simply an alcoholic pothead that does acid a lot. that would be Seth. i don't do drugs at all. but none of them know this. they're convinced i'm a pill-popping pothead but that's only because they're too stoned to realize that the "joints" i smoke are reely just cheap, home-rolled cigarettes and the pills i pop are just birth control and vitamins.
there's a need to be sober with these people i talk to. what a lot of people don't realize is that we haven't had the same members during our musical career. our newest member is actually Eryk. Jason brought him in as soon as he got enough power in the group to bring someone in. the truth is, a guy named Jack founded the band back in spring '94 with 2 guys, one named Jon, the other, John and a chick named Rita. i joined in winter of '94 and was ready for my initiation when the time came the next summer. turns out initiation is a bitch. John didn't survive my initiation.
Rita ran off with Zero's sister almost as soon as he joined, 2 years later. and Jack didn't survive his initiation. at this time it was Jon, Zero, me and Rita. when Rita ran off we had to go find a new member. that's when we met Seth. we didn't have to intitiate him because he was Jon's brother. he was the last member we got that was related to an existing member. it complicated initiations.
things got complicated then... having only four members. we weren't playing all the instruments we wanted to play because we all already had one. that's why, 6 months later we recruited Jason.
so here it was, late June 1997, and we had ourselves a 5-piece band. 'twas me, Seth, Zero, Jon and Jason, getting ready to play our big Independance Day gig. we were getting paid apiece so we all made it a point to be there and playing our best. that meant Jon needed a shitload of heroin, Zero needed a couple fifths of vodka, Seth dumped his girlfriend and Jason called his friend Eryk in London to come live with him. all i needed were some new clothes. so, off to the thrift store i went. i don't remember what i wore but i do remember the skinny goth chick feeling all the lingerie material. only the silk, of course, because ex does that to you. i looked up at her once i heard her start humming a few lines to this techno song i was into at the time. it was done by an underground group from Baton Rouge, Louisiana so i was somewhat impressed.
it took her a minute or so but she noticed me looking her up. "what are you looking at, you dyke?" she asked, with a playful grin on her face.
i just kind of smiled. i think she got the impression that i was offended by her comment, so she got about as close to me as is possible fully clothed in a salvation army and told me her name was Karma. i asked her if she would be at our show the next day so she just looked at me for a few seconds.
"if i didn't, it'd be the first 'Silence' show i missed in 2 years," she paused "Angel." by now her right hand was on my thigh and her lips were about an inch away from my neck. she moved her right hand to my stomach and brought her left to my shoulder so she could pull me into a hug. "i'll see you tonight." and that was the last i saw of her for the next 6 hours.
to be continued
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